Adoption FAQ

November is National Adoption Month, and I thought I’d pull together a post answering some questions about our adoption journey.

While we’re thrilled to build our family through adoption, we recognize that this journey is bittersweet, because loss is involved. Adoption exists, because brokenness exists. We know that the little one we’ll one day call ours will come from loss, and we want to equip ourselves well to care for him or her.

Michael and I entered our marriage knowing that we’d build our family through adoption because my body is unable to bear babies. As we’ve worked through the pain and loss, we’ve felt the Lord’s strength and tender care for us. He promises never to leave or forsake us, and we’ve clung to that truth for dear life. ⁣
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Almost thirty years ago, I was adopted from overseas. I grew up with five adopted siblings, and have spent years advocating and advancing child welfare policy in Washington, D.C. Adoption has been my heartbeat for years, and now, the Lord is calling me and Michael to step into adoption together. We’re pursuing international adoption – India, to be specific. Only God could take this adoptee from overseas, and invite her to become “Mommy” to a little one from another country.⁣
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While we have many unanswered questions, fears, and needs, we’re trusting the Lord and stepping out in faith. Our deepest prayer is that the Lord would be glorified and honored in this process.⁣

Adoption FAQ’s

When did you decide to pursue adoption?

The short answer – April. 

The longer answer – Michael and I knew before we got married that we’d build our family through adoption. When I was 19, I found out that I was born with a medical condition that prevents me from bearing biological children. I wrote all about that in my book, Longing for Motherhood. While we were dating, we discussed building our family through adoption and entered marriage knowing we’d one day begin that process. We recently celebrated three years of marriage, and haven’t been in a hurry to begin the adoption process.

One evening, early in the midst of lockdown, Michael and I were on a walk and I threw out the idea of beginning the paperwork since we had some extra time on our hands. My thought process was that even if we weren’t actually ready to start the process, we could at least work on some paperwork. Michael said he’d think about it and let me know. A few weeks later, we were on another walk and he told me that he was actually ready to officially start the process!!! On that walk, we talked and talked about the opportunities and challenges that lay ahead and began to dream about what it would look like for us!

What’s the timeline?

Likely two to three years. Our agency has told us that for some couples, certain stages of the process could take a few days (not common, but still happens) or over a year. So, we really don’t know what our timeline will end up being!

Which agency are we using?

We’re using Lifeline Children’s Services! It was important to us to partner with a Christian agency. Adoption is an intense and intimate process, and we wanted to work with fellow believers to bring our little one home.

Why did we choose international adoption?

When we decided to begin the adoption process, we hadn’t chosen which option to pursue. (Adoption from foster care, domestic adoption or international.) We talked with others who had adopted, and spent a lot of time in prayer. Ultimately, we felt the Lord leading us towards international adoption. There are children all over our nation and all over the world that need safe, permanent, and loving homes. International adoption has been sharply declining in recent years for a number of reasons, but the reality remains that for some children in developing countries, their only opportunity for a family is international adoption.

If you’re interested in reading more about the importance of intercountry adoption, I wrote an article “Why Intercountry Adoption Must Remain a Viable Option”

Where are we adopting from?

Every country has different requirements – age, length of marriage, age of children available for adoption, and length of stay in-country. One of the biggest factors for us was how long we had to stay in the country when we went to finalize our adoption. Some countries required up to 12 weeks, and that would have been extremely difficult for us. India and China only require two weeks in-country and based on some of our professional work, we wouldn’t feel safe adopting from China. Michael has been to India before, but picking up our child will be my first time. We’d love to adopt twins or siblings!!!

Below are some facts about India:

• The second most populous nation in the world.
• The country with the largest worldwide population of orphans and children living on the streets.
• The country with the most unreached people groups of any other country in the world.
• A nation with one of the largest populations of abandoned children due to gender or special needs.

How can we support you?

Prayer!

We would deeply appreciate you parntering with us in prayer. Below are a few ways to pray:

Financial support.

If you feel lead, we would welcome financial support. We’re working on creating a tax-deductible crowdfunding opportunity, so stay tuned! 🙂

The Gospel is not a picture of adoption, adoption is a picture of the Gospel.

~ John Piper